The Shared CF Experience- Kicking Imposter Syndrome
The first day of my CF, I sat with the stack of papers containing teacher's schedules and began brainstorming how I was going to get all 70-something kiddos into a schedule. I knew I was sharing the caseload with three other SLPs, so how hard could it be? I quickly realized how challenging this truly was, but I felt as if I needed to prove myself as the newbie. Here enters imposter syndrome. I hadn't laid eyes on a kiddo for treatment yet, and it was already beginning - am I going to be any asset to this team?
It must be a common, shared experience within your Clinical Fellowship, and after, to often ask yourself, "Am I even qualified to be here?" You may even be working alongside another individual who has years of experience and wonder, "How in the world did they handle that so well?!" Imposter syndrome has a funny way of making you question every clinical decision you have ever made. It makes you feel like a fraud, frantically waiting to be exposed for "faking it 'till you make it". The truth is, we can combat these thoughts with conscious effort and reliable support. Here are a few tips I have found helpful during my CF when battling imposter syndrome.
Shift Your Way of Thinking: Instead of sulking in, "I don't know how to do this", try, "I can learn how to do this." Challenge your negative thoughts with positive facts and affirmations. Your CF is a continued opportunity to learn. There will be times where you won't know how to administer an assessment that you had previously only learned about in a PowerPoint. Instead of allowing your thoughts to sink into a false reality, remember that you are still in a period of learning, and lean on your supervisor and other supports to tackle new obstacles.
Recognize Your Value: Remember what you achieved to get to this very moment. Don't mistake hard work for luck! Graduate school was meant to prepare you for this. You were seen as an asset to this career when you were accepted into that school. The same goes for your career. Your value was seen by the hiring team, and further by those you work with and your supervisor. Others can recognize your value, but it is of the upmost importance to remember it yourself. Lean into your uniqueness. You have fresh eyes and education that may bring something new to the table for others to learn. Your passion, knowledge, and dedication are valued!
You Will Not 'Fix' Everyone: ... and that is OK! You see and hear countless wins throughout your education and CF, and this may cause you to contemplate if you are doing enough. However, it is important to remember that a win does not mean 'fixed'. It is likely that you will be meeting many kiddos at their baseline. You will see students with multiple underlying diagnoses that make effective communication highly challenging. Remember to meet your children and students where they are. Lean on the supports you can provide to make small gains rather than trying to 'fix' them!
Ask Questions: It sounds cliché, but the truth is, you were not meant to have it all figured out. Things are constantly changing in our field. Even those with years of experience are likely still asking questions. Your supervisor is there to guide you through these challenges!
When it was revealed that one of the three SLPs had made the schedule for those 70 something kiddos, I was beyond relieved and thankful. I remember thinking, "Okay, I can do this." I took her layout and made the schedule for another school I was serving. I then had the opportunity to update and remodel the caseload schedule with new schools and students added to my caseload. This is just one of many personal experiences facing the 'buzzword'.
As a CF, show yourself grace and remember that imposter syndrome is real, but it is how you conquer it that matters. We all start somewhere! You can find countless tips and tricks on how to conquer imposter syndrome whether it be through social media, research, or other's input. It is important though that you find what works for you!
Kayla Forren, M.S., CF-SLP